Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Standing at the Threshold of Heaven...Part 2...What Now?

How  could I describe the feeling of the that night in my bedroom, in 1969, when my brother left my side?  Well, as a performer you go before an audience; a group of people, and there is an exchange of energy.  Sometimes the audience is small and other times thousands, no matter how many there are there is an amazing feeling that comes from that group of people toward you as you stand before them. 

I first stood before a classroom of fellow students in 1962 in required speech class. Mr. Hagerty was my instructor and the first person to ever see my ability to speak in front of people.  He told me that it was what I was meant to do; I was a natural.  He explained the communication that happens with the performer and his audience.  An amazing energy that if the performer is skilled can turn a good performance into a great one by using the energy of the crowd. He told me I had that, that presence.  This man became an instructor at the college level just as I entered higher learning and when my brother was ill.  Once again, I had a mentor that knew and cared for me and he taught me more. He was the first person outside my family that I knew would be a part of me forever.  So after my brothers death I wanted to stay true to my dream of becoming an actress.  The very night of my first professional show I checked the box office to see if he had picked up his front row seat ticket.  I was told that that very day he was killed in a car crash coming home from vacation.  I stood dumbfounded. That first performance was in the shadow of another death of an important person in my life.  In my heart, I dedicated it to Mr. Hagerty.  I later was one of the students to speak at his memorial. finding myself in front of an audience of mourners to exchange with them what we all felt, sadness and gratitude for knowing this wonderful soul.  

 So he taught me there is a flow of energy, you to them and then them to you...it is what performing in public is all about.  Michael Jackson used to say his fans loved him and in some respects he is correct.  There is  rush of some great feeling when they like you.  There is nothing like it on earth.  In the dark all alone that night in 1969 I had the same feeling as if I were before thousands of people...and maybe I was...they were just on the other side in a place we call Heaven.  That night I stood, for the first time, at the threshold of Heaven.



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