Standing at the Threshold of Heaven...Part 10...Joys in the Form of Stephen

Pregnant at last.  I continued to work at the school until my 8th month.  I had such love and support from everyone at school including the kids.  I was directing a show at the time and just happened to have mostly Puerto Rican students.  They would speak Spanish to my belly and watched out for me each day as if Stephen were their little brother.  In the last month, they held a surprise shower and invited the staff and Principal.  I had many showers but found I had Gestational Diabetes so I attend all my parties and never once having a spec of sugar.  Stephen was to be healthy!

The day I knew I had to quit my job was when I looked out the 3rd story window to see a car speeding down the street with a young man on the hood.  He was holding on with one hand because the other had a gun pointed at the driver. I had many times like this one at the school, I had walked into fights in the hall with no concern for my well being. No teachers would do it but I would. I had one evening, during graduation, that the principle came back stage to tell me two of my students who were graduating needed to be told their mother had died. Marker!  She would tell them if I stood by. None of the therapist were available. I ended up taking these young people home only to find a house with their mothers blood all over.  She hemorrhaged and bleed to death on the way to the hospital.  

They were from Italy and dad was long gone. No relatives in Chicago. I had to care for them in their grief and find where their mother had been taken.  I cleaned the house and sent them to a neighbors. After hours and many calls to my boss we found mom and in the morning actually found a distant relative in the suburbs. These were the kinds of things I did for these kids at this school.  I loved them all. But here I was with a big belly full of Stephen.  I thought," That is it. No more taking care of these teens!  I had my own child now."  I was prepared to leave this job I loved and the children I cared for deeply.

One evening sitting in the twilight we decided to name our children.  I think I was about 6 months along.  We did not bother to turn on a light, it felt right to sit in the dim light to ponder names.  There was Heath, Keith, Christopher, and some Hispanic names.  But Edwin did not feel any were good enough.  We did know the baby was a boy by then and wanted a name that was strong and could not be used on the play ground as a sing song sound that would stick with him through school.  Half way through our evening, Edwin said, "Let's name our girl. We will have a girl next!"  I said OK.  Within minutes the name Hope came out of his mouth.  I was delighted. "I want our daughter to have the name of the quality that her momma shares with others."  I wanted to cry.  What a loving thing to say.  So she would be Hope.  

 Now back to the issue at hand, a boy's name.  About one half hour later we decide on Stephen and his middle name would be Gregory after my brother.  My due date was close to my brother birthday. How does that happen in families?

Stephen was born on the hottest day in history in Chicago for July 16th.  Labor was awful and over 24 hours. At 11:00 p.m. on the 16th I was not progressed very far, after 24 hours.  Stephen was ready to come but I was not cooperating and his little head was starting to flatten from pushing. So we needed to do something.  I really wanted to have a regular birth but I looked at the clock and thought, in less than an hour our son would be born on my brothers birthday.  I thought I did not want my son to carry that with him the rest of his life. He would have his name but I just did not want him to have the same birth.   C Section it was.  Off we went to the operating room and Stephen was born screaming and looking around like he was already one year old.  It was 11:20, July 16th.  Strong, healthy and full of life. 

Dean showed up the next day and looked like he had gone through the sprinklers.  He told us it was sweat because of the heat. Dean was asked to be Stephen's God-Father and he accepted.  Since the day I meet Dean I knew he and I were family.  We did have a few rocky years but all got mended and after that there was not a day that went by that we did not speak.  His parents were older and he was the only child.  Birthdays, holidays and just everyday was filled with loving times and some hard times with Dean. He was a true friend and more a part of our little family.

I went home with Stephen and the nurse said she never saw a new born gain weight in those first days.  They usually loose and then later gain. Stephen just kept on gaining. My mother was there.  I had a difficult time with the stitches, I had never had surgery before.  My mother had to return to my father after a week and I will never forget the first day she was gone.  Stephen always hungry began crying and I found I could not get up because I was in such pain.  Edwin had gone back to work and I was left alone for the first time.  I lay in tears as Stephen cried and cried.  I took the phone and called Dean. I begged him to come and help. He was scared but I said "forget that and get over here."  He soon arrived.  He picked Stephen up for the first time and was total in awe of the power of that baby.  The three of us spent a lovely day with Dean being a nurse maid to both of us.   

Several months later I decided to go back to work.  Edwin had graduated with Broadcast in Communications and was working for one of the largest Spanish speaking TV station in Chicago.  We hired a nanny from Columbia and Edwin could communicate well with her.  I was breast feeding and spent lunch hours in the lounge pumping milk to freeze.  Things seem to be going well but I had a hard time keeping my mind on my work. Stephen was always there in my head. Then one day I went home early to find Stephen in his crib with a bottle propped up.  I was furious. The nanny had been instruction to always hold Stephen while feeding.  She was let go once Edwin came home.  Now what?  I gave 2 weeks notice and began being an at home mom.  It would limit our income but Edwin agreed it was the thing to do. 

Then in November Edwin decided to have surgery on his eyes, I still had my insurance and now was the time.  He was given pain meds and that was a mistake.  Stephen would be 6 months when I decided to leave Edwin.  He had started to drink once again and now I had a son to raise no more of that for me.  In December I moved to my parents home in my home town.  Stephen and I did not know what would happen but I was safe and happy with my folks.  Edwin would try to phone and apologizes but now things were different and I could not live like that with our baby.  Then in February he called to tell me his sister in law, a young woman with a 3 years girl, had passed away. Marker!